Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
