we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
