i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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