I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
