i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
