Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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