look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
