i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My ass is underappreciated
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
