dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
