Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
