Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
