I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
