Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
