Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
