I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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