I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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