He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
