I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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