That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just googled if crying burns calories
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
