i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
