i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
