Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize