The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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