well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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