Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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