have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
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Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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