Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize