Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
