How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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