ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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