dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
