i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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