My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize