I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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