but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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