Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night

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(508): I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night http://tfl.nu/lkz0

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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(419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico http://tfl.nu/934w

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(419): View more from Ohio

I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said

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(419): I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said http://tfl.nu/s0mp

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(404): View more from Georgia

you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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(404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64

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(425): View more from Washington

there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..

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(425): there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room.. http://tfl.nu/dpny

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...

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(701): Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty... http://tfl.nu/qvnt

Replies (18) Good night (5681) Bad night (1176)
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(410): View more from Maryland

In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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(410): In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub http://tfl.nu/jeln

Replies (5) Good night (2234) Bad night (836)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.

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(304): It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly. http://tfl.nu/eai2

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(314): View more from Missouri

Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

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(314): Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/n4av

Replies (7) Good night (1322) Bad night (620)
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(925): View more from California

You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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(925): You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure. http://tfl.nu/nboc

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(530): View more from California

I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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(530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie

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(214): View more from Texas

Blow job season was short but glorious.

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(214): Blow job season was short but glorious. http://tfl.nu/338e

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(313): View more from Michigan

saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?

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(313): saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man? http://tfl.nu/248d

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(716): View more from New York

Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

(585): View more from New York

If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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(716): Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way. (585): If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this. http://tfl.nu/htqs

Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (295)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

(508): View more from Massachusetts

it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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(617): you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore (508): it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10 http://tfl.nu/2xhn

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