Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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  (405): I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace... (1-405): Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar http://tfl.nu/6slq
  Replies (16) Good night (1890) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  My boss' voice literally gives me gas

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  (831): My boss' voice literally gives me gas http://tfl.nu/s0me
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (2244)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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  (919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr
  Replies (59) Good night (2561) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.

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  (732): You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up. http://tfl.nu/jzsw
  Replies (8) Good night (677) Bad night (3032)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!

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  (407): So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!! http://tfl.nu/uf67
  Replies (56) Good night (4713) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.

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  (603): Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror. http://tfl.nu/is4s
  Replies (25) Good night (8336) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.

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  (325): Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood. http://tfl.nu/hew5
  Replies (11) Good night (4226) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8350) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata

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  (404): And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata http://tfl.nu/65h3
  Replies (4) Good night (2188) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1784) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2317) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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  (+44): This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats. http://tfl.nu/c5o0
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (2219)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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  (952): Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/n35v
  Replies (6) Good night (1036) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it

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  (619): The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it http://tfl.nu/3uov
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE

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  (713): Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE http://tfl.nu/k4x4
  Replies (8) Good night (861) Bad night (138)

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