so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
