Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
