So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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