I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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