wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
