Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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