Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
