How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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