so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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