I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
