I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
