Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
