Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
