the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Shame - the story of my life.
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