why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
