just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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