You work out of a Hotel?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
