Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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