Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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