alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
