You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
