i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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